• makyo@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    I feel like I saw somewhere that men message dozens of times more women than vice versa. I get their non-nuanced temptation but you can hardly call a system that encourages one gender to incessantly spam the other ‘engagement’.

    • Oderus@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      I read that men have to send over 110 likes before they get a single response whereas women get 50-60 guys a day messaging them and they act really creepy like sending dick pics.

      • radicalautonomy@lemmy.world
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        6 months ago

        It’s absolutely true. I’m polyamorous, and various women I’ve dated over the years have shared their dating app situations with me. Not one of them didn’t have 999+ likes and/or a dozen messages from new men on that day alone (depending upon the app).

        I prefer apps like Hinge and OKCupid. They allow me to tell more about what I’m about, and I get to learn more about them as well before I attempt to reach out. I’ve had fairly good success with both.

        • TheFriar@lemm.ee
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          6 months ago

          Hinge is the only one I use anymore. Honestly, you need to be able to say something. Just swiping doesn’t do shit. If they paywall that feature they’ll be sunk in no time. I’ll be the first to leave. But I’ve been dating someone for a little and it might turn monogamous soon. So, guess we’ll see.

          • radicalautonomy@lemmy.world
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            6 months ago

            If I may, out of curiosity, you say it “might turn monogamous soon”; when you first started dating, what were each of your dating styles? Has one of you been more monogamously-minded than the other? Is one person more interested in monogamy than the other?

    • Dkarma@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      That’s the way it works in real life tho…it’s not the apps fault. Women always have more options than men.

      • Jax@sh.itjust.works
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        6 months ago

        I will never understand this take.

        Logically speaking this is simply incorrect.

        • Anamnesis@lemmy.world
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          6 months ago

          Have you been on a dating app? The experience is extremely gender specific. Men spend their time sending out as many likes as are available, and women spend their time sorting through likes they get. This is the experience for either gender unless you’re at the very high or low end of the desireability spectrum.