When I first read this, I thought it said “police called to help shoot him dead” and I was like yeah, that’s why you would call the police, but why would you want him shot dead?
“Hello, police? Yes, this is Kristi Noem. Yes, I have a dog that got lost, so could you find it and shoot it for me? Normally, I’d just shoot it myself before it got lost, but I was running late this morning. Thanks.”
Based on how often it happens, and how the cops are never punished for it, I just assume that part of the job description for cops is to shoot people’s dogs.
Because all the people who write headlines grew up learning how to read and write on the internet and social media. And the bosses they present their work to for scrutiny? Also learned to read and write while arguing with other middle schoolers online or role-playing terrible fan-fic erotica.
I shudder at the thought of some erotica authors and their content being the example a person might aspire to write like, or worse, to learn from. Even as a very, very horny pre-teen I had to put down some stories because the grammar and spelling was so atrocious I could tell.
When I first read this, I thought it said “police called to help shoot him dead” and I was like yeah, that’s why you would call the police, but why would you want him shot dead?
“Hello, police? Yes, this is Kristi Noem. Yes, I have a dog that got lost, so could you find it and shoot it for me? Normally, I’d just shoot it myself before it got lost, but I was running late this morning. Thanks.”
“I just didn’t have time to go to the gravel pit today”.
People who call the police think the police are there to help. They don’t expect the police will kill dogs or keep parents away from school shooters.
Based on how often it happens, and how the cops are never punished for it, I just assume that part of the job description for cops is to shoot people’s dogs.
Genuinely why are headlines the least comprehendable English these days?
Because all the people who write headlines grew up learning how to read and write on the internet and social media. And the bosses they present their work to for scrutiny? Also learned to read and write while arguing with other middle schoolers online or role-playing terrible fan-fic erotica.
I shudder at the thought of some erotica authors and their content being the example a person might aspire to write like, or worse, to learn from. Even as a very, very horny pre-teen I had to put down some stories because the grammar and spelling was so atrocious I could tell.
Or it was written by AI
I read: “Biden and deaf dog Teddy got lost in a neighbor’s yard.” I was disappointed, but willing to believe it