I feel slightly better knowing that the Chinese suffer from Chinesium-based products as much as we do.

Conversation in a future space Starbucks: Me: “I’d like a triple grande, soy, no foam latte in a to-go vulva.” Barista: “Yes sir…”

Conversation in my local Starbucks tomorrow: Me: “I’d like a triple grande, soy, no foam latte in a to-go vulva.” Barista: “Sir, I have a taser and pepper spray, if you leave now, I won’t call the cops.”

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