…with crypto-locked bootloaders/ECMs/tractors to make sure none of the serfs threaten the king’s power with digital pitchforks.

Assuming they keep the upstream pronunciation theory, I think it would be: fringe-n-x

Making humongous wooden bearings?

Abducted.

I would sooner blame the management, that would even think of excluding “untested” or “unsupported” browsers, like some kind of technofacist dictator, instead of choosing a helpful “if you’re having problems with our shit site, use chrome” message… or even literally doing nothing… everything is broken these days, and a half-functional site is better than an intentionally-broken one.

One could argue that they do “try to stop you”… technically… by disabling the execute bit on software update tools (like apt & deb)… but I see that more as a gentle reminder and acknowledgement of your ownership of the machine, as they could have easy just not had those tools present at all.

Pretty much anything from protectli. Very flexible.